How Reappraising Parents in Therapy Affects Memories
Have you ever wondered how simply changing the way you view your parents could alter the way you feel about them or affect how you remember your childhood? A recent study explores this idea, focusing on how reappraising—changing our perspective of—our parents might influence both our current emotions toward them and our recollection of past feelings.
The Power of Changing Our Perspective
Past research has shown that changing how we think about past experiences or people can influence the emotions we associate with them. For instance, if we revisit a childhood memory from a new angle, it can shift the way we feel about that moment. This study specifically looks at whether altering how we view our parents, particularly our mothers, can have a similar effect.
What the Study Did
In order to test how reappraisal affects emotions and memories, researchers conducted two experiments. Participants were asked to think about their mothers either in a more positive or negative way. Some were encouraged to view their mothers more positively, while others were prompted to think of them more negatively. A third group of participants received neutral prompts, serving as a comparison group.
The study had two main goals:
- Does changing how people view their mothers affect their current emotions toward them?
- Does it change how they remember their feelings toward their mothers from childhood?
Experiment 1: Immediate Effects on Emotions and Memories
The aim of the first experiment was to determine if altering the way people appraise their mothers—either positively or negatively—would influence both their current emotions and their memories of childhood emotions, including happiness, interest, sadness, and anger.
The results of the first experiment showed that participants who were encouraged to think positively about their mothers (the “Mother Appraisal Up” group) reported higher levels of happiness and interest in their mothers. In contrast, those who were prompted to think negatively about their mothers (the “Mother Appraisal Down” group) experienced more anger and sadness. Interestingly, while the effects on positive emotions were immediate, negative emotions like sadness and anger appeared to take longer to manifest, showing up after about four weeks. This suggests that some emotions might be more resistant to change or might require more time to be influenced by reappraisal.
When it came to memories of childhood emotions, the study found that those who had been asked to think more positively about their mothers remembered feeling happier toward them as children. On the other hand, those who were prompted to think negatively about their mothers remembered experiencing more negative emotions, like anger and sadness, during their childhood. However, the effect on memories of happiness was somewhat short-lived. The positive shift in memory faded after about four weeks, indicating that changes in memories were not as lasting as changes in current emotions.
Experiment 2: Long-Term Impact on Emotions and Memories
The second experiment aimed to replicate the findings of the first study and investigate how long-lasting the effects of reappraisal might be, specifically over a period of eight weeks.
Once again, participants in the “Mother Appraisal Up” group reported significantly higher happiness and interest toward their mothers immediately after the experiment. However, by the eight-week mark, these differences had faded, showing that the impact on emotions was not sustained over time. This effect was similar to the results found in the first experiment, where the positive emotions linked to reappraisal of mothers were only temporary.
As for the memories of childhood emotions, no significant differences were observed between the two groups after the experiment. This suggests that, unlike emotions, memories were not significantly altered by the reappraisal of their mothers. The lack of long-lasting memory changes across both experiments indicates that reappraisal might have a limited impact on how we remember our past.
Why This Matters
These results suggest that how we think about our parents today can significantly influence how we feel about them in the present moment. It also shows that altering how we appraise our parents can even shape how we remember our past feelings. This insight has practical implications, especially in therapy, where professionals may use reappraisal techniques to help clients process and work through difficult and strong emotions tied to their parents.
However, there’s an important consideration for therapists: Should clients be made aware that reappraising their parents might not only affect their current feelings but also change how they remember their past emotions? This raises a question about the ethical considerations of such techniques, and it’s something that therapists and clients may want to discuss as part of the therapy process.
Conclusion: Emotions and Memories Aren’t Fixed
This study reveals that our emotions and memories are not as rigid as we might think. Both can be shaped by how we view things in the present moment. While the immediate emotional effects of reappraisal are clearer, the changes to memories are more subtle and short-lived.
So, next time you reflect on your past, remember that your feelings and memories might not be as permanent as they seem—they might change depending on your current perspective. Whether you’re processing childhood experiences or revisiting past relationships, reappraising your past may offer you new insights into your emotional world.
